A Reminder: Have You Thanked Your Problems Yet?

Written by Melissa Anzman

(Editor’s Note: This was originally posted in June 2012 and was subsequently picked up a few other places, but I thought it was fitting as a reminder for Thanksgiving here in the U.S.). 

Let’s pause and look around us – and be grateful for everything that we do have. It’s so easy to get caught up in our own world: things that are driving us crazy, holding us back, or not turning out as we planned. But have you recently looked outside of your sphere (and your current woes), to reflect on what you have?

I’m in the business of turning negatives, challenges, questions, into amazing positives. Don’t have a job that brings in six-figures, I’ll help you land that. Not sure if you should stay in grad school or take a promotion at work, no problem. Can’t seem to break into the corporate world with your current set of resume materials, easy breezy fix. I listen to people’s problems and help them on their path to find a solution – and I love every moment. But are our problems really that bad?

After watching the first half of the Secret Millionaire, I was touched, inspired, and questioning my own world perspective. A little disclaimer – I love this show; I love how it highlights how different people live throughout the United States, that it attempts to show and share the reality of life for so many people that are not represented in media, that it reminds us of the impact that volunteering (and yes, money), can have to so many people. But as I was watching kids being taught how to landscape a cemetery so they can add that skill to their resume, I paused the show and literally stepped away from my TV.

When was the last time that you stepped out of your current life woes and reflected on the things you do have? I know that it has been too long when I was worrying this morning about how to bring in new clients while sitting at Starbucks with my venti iced coffee in my hand and my laptop computer on the table (not to mention all of the other gadgets in my purse). It’s not about things – but how amazing is it, that these issues are the ones that I’m lucky enough to worry about. I have a beautiful apartment, I don’t have to worry about my next meal, clothes, things galore, and so much more.

Our own life decisions and challenges are important – it’s not about how you compare to people who may be less or more fortunate. But at what point do we give our personal crises a break and realize that we are very lucky to be having those types of problems in the first place? When you put your decisions into the perspective of others, the problem doesn’t seem so big or overwhelming.

So I urge all of you to take a moment and reflect on how lucky you are to be struggling YOUR struggle. Even as difficult, challenging or overwhelming it may seem, there are so many others who are struggling for things/decisions/options that you have either overcome or accomplished. Remember that: you have accomplished! Each time you pay your rent check, buy groceries, get in your car, call someone on your cell phone – your hard work, dedication, determination, and perhaps luck, have helped you do that. Be grateful for what you have and figure out how to pay it forward.

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

Career, Melissa

My Passion Failed Me

Written by Melissa Anzman

I have a confession to make… it’s something that I’ve alluded to in the past, maybe even said it in different words, but it’s time to come clean. My “dream job,” the thing I was most passionate about, the thing I built my business around… sucked in reality.

Let me explain a bit more.

For ages, I kept hearing the advice: follow your passion. “When you do something you love, you’ll never work another day in your life.” And various other iterations of the passion is awesome advice.

First I agonized over what the heck “finding my passion” meant… and how to go about doing that. I had always approached work as following opportunities and leveraging my strengths or growing my skills. I didn’t understand how passion should be incorporated into that. But I kept searching and finally “found my passion.” Or maybe, what my ideal job is.

I spent time figuring out what my ideal day looked like, listing out all of my skills, what I did and didn’t want in my future career, and so on. And all answers pointed to me being my own boss. If you know me, that’s not a far stretch.

So I opened a career coaching business… and felt burned out within a year. It’s not that I didn’t like what I was doing or the people I was working with it, it’s that it felt like a J-O-B again. And my default with that feeling is, “If I’m going to work in a J-O-B, I may as well go back to corporate and get a high paying job that makes me feel the same way as I do now.”

Not the right mindset, I’ll be the first to admit. But I have this weird career-quirk, maybe it’s a personality quirk, I’m not sure. But when I feel like I’m “in a job,” I am MISERABLE. That’s not me being overly dramatic, it feels so taxing and awful and… miserable. Everything else in my life suffers to.

And I felt lied to – I followed my passion, I created a business based around it, and within a year, that same corporate drone misery set-in. Again.

So I followed the next shiny object – another passion of mine. Hey, follow your bliss, right? Built another company around that passion and thought the problem was solved.

But of course, the same thing happened. I hit my burnout point or “misery level”… and was left feeling stuck and like a huge failure (even though I had officially created two successful businesses!).

Why am I telling you this? First, to let you know that if you’re feeling the same way, you’re definitely not alone. Sometimes your passions don’t pan out as a business or career choice. It’s not you, you’re not failing in some way, you’re not defective (like how I felt). Also, to let you know that passions don’t have to be forever things. And sometimes, when you build your career around your passion, it kills it.

Of course I keep pivoting to new paths and ideas, trying to find the intersection of my skills, my “passion,” and what people will pay me for. Or better yet, how I can build something that has a shorter shelf-life, but continues to move me forward on my path.

Oh, and that “passion stuff”… I’ve started to look at it as things I like doing. Not what gets me out of bed. Not what is an awesome hobby. But what I wouldn’t mind doing for work.

Maybe follow your passion was the worst advice I’ve ever gotten – but I’ve learned that passion flame outs, don’t equate to failure. And more important – for me, passion needs to stay in my side projects/hobbies. Not the center focus of my business (unless I’m ready to explore a new passion!).   

About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her@MelissaAnzman.