Dream Job Drama

Written by Melissa Anzman Throughout our career, we are constantly searching for our “dream job.” That one perfect position that will make us gloriously happy and eager to show up to work every day, make a difference in the world, and earn well over six-figures doing it. The elusive golden ticket of our career.

It never fails that once we find that “dream job,” drama ensues.

Like a popped balloon, the disappointment of your dream being not as perfect as you thought it would be, is deflating. But alas, it’s not time to start dreaming up another job – you can save the one you’re already in.

Get to the root of it.

Figure out what went wrong and immediately prevent it from happening again. Usually our vision is shattered by an event, an action, a word, a new project – something. Evaluate what cause your dream to turn into a mini-nightmare.

For example, I thought I was in my dream job when I ended up having to cut out circles on my office floor. That was the catalyst of drama for me – feeling like I was missing out on adding value and interacting with interesting coworkers.

What happened to change your perspective about the situation?

Get back to reality.

Your job probably wasn’t that dreamy to begin with – not in reality. So go back to the job description, go back to what attracted you to the position in the first place, and start figuring out what got you excited in the first place.

Then add more of that back into your daily routine. If you loved being able to deliver training or having calls with clients, figure out a way to add an hour more of that each week – then slowly progress until your time is more heavily weighted doing the things you enjoy.

Confront the situation head-on.

If a person (ahem, your boss), influenced your current state of mind, you have to address it with him/her directly. There’s no getting out of this step – you won’t be able to move past the drama until it’s confronted. Be professional about it and ask for some time on the offender’s schedule. Go to a secluded place – your cubicle isn’t appropriate; in a non-emotional manner, discuss what occurred and see what his/her perspective is.

Listen to what’s being said, and move forward.

Get the lesson.

A former colleague told me that we keep repeating drama, when we don’t get the lesson when it’s presented to us. It took me three, yes THREE, “dream jobs” to realize that the “dream” I created in my mind was sabotaging my success in each job.

The lesson may be different for you, but before you make any drastic changes, make sure you figure out what that lesson is. Realizing your expectations were unrealistic, your hope that your manager will stop micro-managing you because you’re competent, or knowing that you’re not really all that into the cause that your employer focuses on are all possibilities.

Look in the mirror.

Yikes, I know – it’s so much easier to think that our “dream job” really is a dream. But there’s a reason we use such fluffy words… our ideal roles aren’t necessarily based in reality. I know I just knocked the wind out of your sails, but it’s a good thing. After this reassessment, you will be happier in many jobs – not just the one you*think* you have to be in.

We go after our dream job to fulfill a fantasy such as time, money, impact, or power. Many entrepreneurs choose their own businesses as their dream job, but give it up within a year. I know – I was one of them. The reality of owning your own business is a lot more tedious than being able to work from a beach for just four hours a day.

In the corporate world, being a director or vice president sounded dreamy to me. But when I was in those roles, the annoying meetings and political games were more frustrating than I could have imagined – leaving a dark shadow over the rest of the job.

Know what you enjoy doing, what you excel at, and what your non-negotiables are. From there, you can create your “dream job” by honoring those three things.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. What kind of dream job drama have you encountered? And how did you go about moving past it? 

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

7 Ways to Be the Youngest Person at Work

Written by Melissa Anzman Genius comes in every age – and I’m guessing that you are one of the smart ones at work. Being one of the smartest employees in the room, and also one of the youngest, can be a frustrating conundrum. You know you have value to add in the conversation, you are qualified to take on a challenge, but your perceived age is stopping others from taking you seriously.

That stops now.

Push Past Your Age and Be Taken Seriously at Work

1. Do your job really, really well.

This probably goes without saying, but unless you are delivering what they are asking at a very high level, nothing you do will change their perception about needing “more time in the job” or maturing. Deliver consistently, exceed expectations at every opportunity you get, and be reliable.

2. Stop telling people how old/young you are.

This is good advice for everyone, but there is a reason that age is a protected class. No one except for HR (and maybe your direct manager), should know how old you are. So stop going around and telling people that you’re only {enter a number in your 20s}.

If you don’t bring your age up, it’s a non-conversation. So while your accomplishments are amazing for your age, toot that horn outside of work with your friends and family… not to your coworkers.

3. Step away from any and all conversations about age.

I am always surprised when the question comes up during a meeting, but when there is one person in the room who looks young, someone always wants to figure out just how young that person is. If you are asked directly, “How old are you?” do not answer. For the love of Nancy.

Hedge around the question by changing the topic or making a self-deprecating remark such as, “I know Bob, I look young, but really, we’re both here to do a job. Come on buddy!” Regardless of the situation or fear of being “rude,” just don’t answer it. Once you respond, it will get around and you will find you will not be able to outrun your age from anyone!

4. Pop-culture references.

Lack of pop-culture knowledge is what usually “outs” people as being young. And it is also the thing that makes your older peers feel ridiculously old. What am I talking about? For example, when someone throws out a Def Leopard reference, or refers back to Spaceballs… you respond with a “what is that?” comment.

Please, don’t do that anymore. It’s extremely upsetting for the person on the other side of that question. Trust me – this is the number one “annoyance” that has been pointed out to me by managers, as being a “target” for immaturity. It’s not right, but it’s how it is.

Instead, either brush up on some 1980s and 1990s pop-culture trivia or simply be a part of the conversation instead of asking for clarification. Some resources to help you gain this knowledge: watch a lot of Pop-Up Video, Google pop culture trivia and start learning, or watch a ton of “cult classic” movies from the 1980s and 1990s.

5. Your outward appearance should match your peers’.

Appearance is everything, so make sure that your outside presentation matches that of your peers’. I’m not saying don’t be trendy, cute or styled; but instead, make sure that you are dressing the part. For example, if your female peers do not wear jeans to work – guess what, you shouldn’t either. Even if you style it amazing. If your male peers are not wearing sandals, you can’t either. See the difference?

You don’t have to be dull or blend in with your appearance, but you do need to keep the same standards that they have. Thus, eliminating the appropriateness conversation and instead shifting the discussion to one of style.

6. Be confident when you contribute, but speak up wisely.

You should absolutely contribute and speak up during group meetings and discussions. But remember that every time that you do, people will be listening – so do so wisely.

A common complaint about Gen Y’ers (hello – big generalization coming), is that they “think they know it all.” Totally NOT the case, but to help differentiate yourself from this stereotype, when you do speak-up, try and do it with care, finesse and value-add. Stand firm in your delivery, but also be engaging and inclusive with your remarks.

Make your contribution feel as though it’s from the whole team.

7. Stop referring to, “in school we did…”

Bad news here people, but school is nothing like the real working world. You have probably figured that out by now. So stop referring to all of the fabulous things that you did in school that you expect to work or resonate at work.

First, it makes your colleagues feel old – I mean, if you are still referring to school, you are giving away your age. Second, it negates all of the lessons you have learned and applied in the “real world.”

These references can creep up and maybe even deliver a good idea or two from time to time. Don’t stop using these learnings, but start positioning them differently. Present the idea without the introduction – and you’ll be awesome.

We’d love to hear from you below in the comments: What have you done that has helped you stand out at work, without your age being an issue?

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

5 Ways to Craft Your Work Persona

Written by Melissa Anzman Your work persona is what you are “known for” at work. It’s not a complete picture of who you are, but it’s how you represent yourself. It’s the perception that you craft and hone. It’s the things you want to be known for. It’s what helps make you successful at work – and define to others, what success means to you.

Many of us enter the workforce as though we are entering another classroom or a date. “Just be yourself.” You show up as you are, and get to work.

Great advice if you are dating, but it could lead you astray in an office environment… especially if you are working in a cross-generational work-space. You don’t need to change who you are, but you do need to craft your work persona.

I learned this the hard way. I showed up to my first job (ok, maybe my first few jobs), without understanding that work required a different type of package. I didn’t get it. My friends liked me well enough – why wasn’t I succeeding at work?

It took me years and several carefully delivered mentoring conversations to realize that the casual jeans and a t-shirt person I am, was not at all aligned with the type of person I wanted to be recognized at work.

Before we discuss the how, you need to understand what your future colleagues already know. (Also known as the things you should have learned in college, but were absent that day.)

The basics of being at work:

• Your casual jeans and weekend t-shirts are never ok – even if you are in a “casual” work environment. (Ditto to tank tops, flip-flops, and other beach attire)
• Getting work done is valued over office gossip – so work should always come first.
• Be respectful. At all times – you never know who you are interacting with, who is witnessing it, and really – just be a generally decent person.
• People don’t like holding your hand. Pay attention, take notes, show-up on time, ask questions – but try not to ask the same question five times. Be present and make an effort – don’t just sit back and expect things to be handed to you.
• Answering your work phone and email is not optional.
• Use complete words and sentences in your communication. Do not text-speak in emails. It’s unprofessional and gives off an “I don’t really understand the English language” vibe.
• Don’t make your boss/peer/colleague feel old – watch your responses, pop-culture references, and commentary. No one likes to be told they are dinosaurs.

Five Ways to Create Your Work Persona

1. Get to the core of the matter

There are certain aspects of our personality that we will never be able to comfortably silence. And that’s good! Sometimes we may want to turn the volume down on them, but at the end of the day, they are an essential part of who we are – they are core to who we are as human beings.

Figure out what your non-negotiables are. What are the things that are core to you, that make you tick, that are of utmost importance, that they need to shine through in your interactions?

2. What do you want to be known for?

The best part about having a work persona is that YOU dictate what you are known for. What are the marketable skills, qualities, realities and perceptions that drive how you want others to think of you? Start by observing the qualities and perceptions of people you admire at work. What do people say about them – good and bad?

These are usually qualities that you already possess – reviewing them, and taking a stand that these are the skills and qualities that I want other people to think about when they say my name. For example, if you like being a quick responder and enjoy interviewing candidates, then these are the skills that you want to start crafting a “name” for.

3. What is valued or admired in your work environment?

The success of your work persona is only as strong as the environment around you allows. If you add up all of the elements and decide that you want to be known as a boisterous political debater, who wears jeans and t-shirts to work, and never responds to email… then your office needs to appreciate these qualities in order for it to work to your advantage.

Office culture is a critical component when evaluating who you want to known as at work. You want to enhance your current skills and personality to your favor, not to your detriment. Make sure that what you are known for is valued and respected where you work and within your field, so you can craft a persona that resonates appropriately.

4. Past successes can equal future gains.

Look back at the qualities and skills that have made you successful in life prior to your current position –be it at school, in sports, or within an activity. Start building on your natural abilities and learned behaviors, instead of starting anew.

If it has been noted on a previous performance review that you seem to have a vast work-load capacity, then this can be a winning characteristic for you. Review what you’ve earned recognition for in the past, and see how you can build on that reputation even further.

5. Image is everything

There are so many sayings here… “Fake it til you make it.” “Dress as the part you want, not the one you have.” And so on. The point is that how you wrap up your work persona, the neat little package that you put it in, will play a big role in the long-lasting effects of it.

Not just the outward appearance. But your ongoing actions will continue to craft, shape and connect with the persona you have developed. So be sure to keep an eye on what persona you put out there, so you can live up to it and reinforce it, every chance you get.

We’d love to hear from you below in the comments: What have you added to your work persona? How was that served you well at work? 

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

Not Getting Hired – The Fall Out and Recovery

Written by Melissa Anzman I don’t tend to get attached to companies – especially during the interview process. I use the “apply to anything that is interesting and you meet the requirements at 70%” rule when searching for jobs. And help us all if I kept a record of all of the jobs I’ve applied to over the years – the list could comprise a phone book (remember those?).

But there was one job that I wanted more than anything else. It spoke to me. I was moving across the country and wanted to have a job to go to while I transitioned – you know, to tell me that I was making the right decision (and I suppose, to finance the move as well).

The job couldn’t have been more tailor-made for me if they had asked me what my dream job is. It was fixing the Human Resources department, essentially relaunching it, at a small company... and animals were involved.

Ok, it was at the zoo. It was beyond my dream job.

I applied and I got an immediate call from the hiring manager. She was interested in talking to me, but I was living across the country at the time, so she wasn’t sure. I ended up spending around $900 of my own money (non-reimbursable), flying from coast-to-coast THREE times for various interviews. The hiring manager told me that I was her candidate of choice.

I was STOKED. Giddy. And I didn’t get the job.

To be fair, no one got the job. They weren’t ready to hire, so it was all for nothing.

I was devastated about a job for the first time in my life. I finally understood the feeling of despair, and “I’m not good enough,” and “who would ever want to hire me now” feelings that my clients and friends shared with me when they didn’t land a job. Don’t get me wrong, I had been rejected before, but not so dramatically – not when I really cared.

I had to pick myself up off the ground and start over. Try to find another position that would never hold a candle to the one I really wanted. Here’s how I did it.

Picking Yourself Up After Rejection

I often say that landing a job is akin to dating – but I never imagined it would include the heartbreak that comes with rejection. Luckily for my job search, I have experience in that – so, I picked myself up and moved forward.

Get back on the horse

I was lazy for a few days, but then realized that laziness wasn’t going to get me paid any time soon. So I started my job search again. Not in earnest, but I forced myself to peruse the job boards for at least one hour each day. I didn’t apply to anything for the first week, but just got a pulse on what was out there.

I’d recommend setting up a keyword search on your aggregated job board of choice and use the auto-emails as your indication that search time needs to be begin. You’ll find yourself comparing every job to the one that just passed you by, picking apart every opportunity, but I promise – every now and then, there will be an interesting nugget amongst the group.

Fake it til you make it

Who knew you could apply that phrase to just about anything. So I started applying – honestly, not only to jobs that fit my “dream job” status, but to any ole job. In order to get a call back, you have to put your hat in the ring, so I applied to things – big and small, ideal and not; just to start getting back into the habit of being an Applicant.

Boost your self-esteem

This is probably not the best HR advice you will ever get from me, but sometimes we just need an ego-boost. And nothing boosts your ego quicker than someone being interested in you for a job! So while I was faking it, I applied to positions that I knew were a shoe-in for me. You know, those lateral moves that you would not really consider if you had “a choice,” but you know that they will be jumping up and down when they see your experience?

Yeah, I applied to those positions so I’d at least get some phone interviews set-up. Talk about major boost in my attitude — “Someone likes me! They want me!” Any interview is good practice — remember that an interview doesn’t mean you have to take the job, so for crying out loud — accept those darn practice opportunities!

Distract yourself

My approach to things outside of my job search was even more meaningful. I needed to find something to take my mind off the opportunity that was lost. So I went to one of my favorites places in the world, and asked if they were hiring part-time. They were, and I found something to look forward to while making a little side cash.

I also started dabbling in other hobbies to help me space out my job search and also remind myself that there are other awesome things I could do to fill my time. Distracting myself from the job that wasn’t, was the quickest cure for moving forward – and soon, it was a distant memory.

And Then…

To be fully transparent, the job I ended up taking was nowhere in the realm of “dream job” status – but I was excited about it because it fulfilled a lot of other interesting facets for me. Oh, and the job at the zoo… they reopened the position and had the nerve to ask me to start the interview process again. For what it's worth, I declined. :)

I’d love to hear from you below in the comments: How have you rebounded from an offer missed?

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

Thinking of Leaving Your Job? When to Wait it Out, When to Leave

Written by Melissa Anzman Working isn't always glamorous. It can be downright miserable at times – isn’t that why the phrase, “work is supposed to be work,” hits home so hard? Leaving your job is big decision and shouldn't be made lightly, regardless of where you are in your career.

One of the most common reasons people look to jump to their next opportunity is because they are ambivalent or downright unhappy with their job. But being unhappy at work is not always a sign that it is immediately time to move on to your next adventure. Here's how to tell when you should stick it out, or when it's time to go.

When to Cool Your Jets and Stay Put

We have an idealized view of how fabulous and glamorous our jobs should be. So when they are anything but exceptional, we complain about how miserable we are and start thinking about jumping ship. Staying put can be one of the best things you can do for your career, if your unhappiness is stemming from these things.

1. You have an interesting job.

If even on your bad days you can find something “cool” about what you do, then your job still has redeemable qualities. Being able to find unique aspects in what you do will help you continue to learn and grow – ensuring you get absolutely everything possible out of the experience.

2. You like the company culture.

Companies are not created equally. I promise—I tried so many cultures out as “research,” just for you. Being able to be yourself at work, be surrounded by like-minded people, or feeling like your values align with the company’s, is not something to balk at. You are not necessarily going to get the same things in a new role— in fact, it will be hard for anything to measure up going forward.

3. You are on-board with the greater mission.

When you feel as though you are a part of something bigger, serving a true purpose to the clients that your company interacts with, it is a special thing. One of my most “miserable” jobs was working within healthcare, but I was continually re-energized by the stories our clients shared—we were literally helping to save their lives. If you are serving what you consider to be the greater good, making an impact, delivering a difference, then working through the temporary unhappiness will take you further than you can imagine.

4. You hate your boss, but like pretty much everything else.

People typically leave their managers, not the company—stop this trend. Your boss will not be in that position forever—and conversely, you don’t have to stay under him forever either (ever hear of internal job postings?). If your boss is your only thorn in your side, figure out a way to deal with him or her until you work your way into a new opportunity.

5. A project, team member or otherwise temporary thing is bugging you.

Even though it feels like it will go on forever, leaving your job because of a temporary situation is not a great idea. If you were content in your job (or met any of the above criteria), before this annoying “thing” came along, stick it out. You’ll come out of the situation a better person and appreciate all of the things you enjoyed about your job, even more. 

When to Say Sayonara

There are a few reasons to leave the misery behind you—and do it NOW. As in, brush off your resume and start getting serious about landing your next job. For the situations below, no amount of reasoning, or pay, or benefits, or “stability, or whatever else you are trying to convince yourself is why you continue to hang on to this job, is worth it.

1. You are in an abusive work environment.

If you are crying at the end of every day, feel as though your boss is verbally attacking you on a constant basis, or you feel bullied. There is never a good reason to stay in an abusive (work) environment, regardless of the reasons behind it - so start looking!

2. If the environment is making you physically sick.

Speaking from personal experience, this happens... and there isn't anything worse than having to return to a place on a daily basis that impacts your health. First, check with the office manager or facilities group if it's something environmental that's making you sick such as allergies from filters not being changed or being moved temporarily when the building is being repainted - these are "fixable." However, if you are suffering from a chronic illness from being at work due to stress, nerves, or anything else, it's time to leave.

3. You are not getting paid consistently.

You work for personal enrichment (right?), but you also do it to pay the bills. I’m not sure I understand the logic in “waiting it out” until the company moves back into a positive cash flow situation, but if you are not getting paid on scheduled pay periods, it’s time to move on (and maybe hire legal counsel).

4. They are telling you to go.

“Thanks for your service, but it’s really time for you to start brushing off your resume because we don’t value you anymore.” Wouldn't it be easier if they were that straightforward? So it may not be that obvious, but look for the signs. If you are being cut out of meetings, taken off projects that you helped develop, not getting the raise or promotion you were expecting/earned (be realistic here), or being put on a performance plan that seems impossible to achieve, consider these clear signs that you should be looking for something else – outside of your current company.

Final Thoughts

Whether it's time for you to go or time for you to stick it out, it's important that you don't check out early. Being present, working as hard as you can, getting as much out of the situation as possible, will help you leave (eventually) on good terms, as well as bolster your working reputation in the meantime. Don't check out too early - keep working through it, until you've come out on the other side.

We’d love to hear from you in the comments: Have you worked through your "miserable" to something better on the other side? Are there other reasons you've stayed on, pushing through your unhappiness? 

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.

Does Your Resume Say You Want to Be Friends?

Written by Melissa Anzman Like it or not, recruiters are the gatekeepers to helping you get your foot in the door at any company. But recruiters remain these mystical creatures – often referred to as evil, idiots, and other unkind words that I refuse to repeat.

It’s not an easy job – part sales, part judge and jury, and part developing the pipeline of talent. But more than anything, recruiters are people too. I know, you forgot that for a minute when they rejected your resume. Understanding how we (gasp – did I just identify myself with the “recruiting team?”) see you through your resume, will help you get through the gate.

The Recruiting Goal

We are not here to help you specifically, get a job. The only thing that matters to us, is how you reflect back on us.

Yep, each candidate that we pass through to the next round is a reflection of our own “talent” in finding the best candidate for the role.

And let me tell you – we are insecure about that. Can you imagine having the responsibility of picking through thousands of qualified candidates and deciding who is worthy of a chance and who isn’t? Or worse, missing a gem in the pile of applicants. Would you want to be at the other end of this commentary “Blueberry Company passed on him – can you believe that? What idiots?”

Our only goal is to send people to the next round who boost our own credibility and skill-set within the company. That’s it. If you do not show me how you support this mission with your resume and online application, I won’t even take a chance on you. I don’t have time to – there is a pile of a hundred other people who, at least on paper, want to make me look good to my boss.

Judge and Jury

You have probably suspected it for some time, but we do judge your resume. In fact, it is a constant, ongoing conversation to help us pass the time and sort through candidates. And we are not easy with the criticisms.

I compare myself to you through your resume. Are you someone I would want to claim as my colleague? If you are applying for a position above mine in level, are you good enough for me to look up to? If you trying to be my peer, are you a threat? Would I stand behind you and your resume if my manager questioned my reasoning?

When you make a grammatical error, I cringe. Is it the end of the world? No. But I refuse, yes – refuse, to believe that we are the same caliber of talent if you are careless enough to make that kind of error.

If you have an objective in your resume, especially if it doesn’t match up with the true objective of the position, I think that you are clueless – not up with current trends, haven’t looked for a job in a long time, not willing to change. How would that quality fit into my company’s culture? It doesn’t – so you are passed over.

When reviewing your work history:

• I’m trying to figure out what you’ve done – how your career has progressed. If you present your resume in a format that isn’t chronological, my first thought is… what are you hiding?
• Recapping your previous job descriptions instead of showing me what you delivered and the scale in which you delivered it… you are a mediocre employee.
• If I have never heard of any of the companies you have worked at, and you do not tell me what types of companies they are… I think you made them up.

These are just a few examples. To be honest, the thing I say more than anything else when looking at resumes is… SO WHAT? Why do I care that you did X, Y, or Z? After three "so what’s" – I move on to the next resume.

Resume Revamp Y’all

Your resume is your first opportunity to show recruiters why you would be an awesome employee. And that’s what most people forget. We are looking for people who make us look good – whether that be as a colleague, peer, or boss.

I don’t want to stand behind someone who I wouldn’t hire for my own team.

The way you approach your resume, needs to change. It shouldn’t be just a professional summary of the actions you have gone through during your career. But it needs to SHOUT why I would want you as a colleague. Why I would be happy to claim you on my team. Why I would feel comfortable sticking my neck out for you.

Show me why we would be friends. I hate to admit it, but that’s all that recruiters are looking for. People who they would want to associate with. High performers. Smart, intelligent workers. Accomplishers. Likeable delivers. Easy to stand behind and defend to hiring managers.

Your resume needs to tell me all of those things so I can’t roll my eyes at you and say within three seconds, why you are not qualified for the job.

For most jobs, you can be trained – stop emphasizing why having the same job title for the past 10 years is enough of a reason for me to consider you for my position with that title. Show me why you’d be an impressive employee. What you would actually bring to the table at my company. And most important, how we can be friends. 

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About Melissa

Melissa Anzman is the creator of Launch Your Job  where she equips ambitious leaders with practical ways to grow their career. She is the author of two books: How to Land a Job and Stop Hating Your Job. Follow her @MelissaAnzman.